You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
