I just saw a hot homeless man
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
