Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
