u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
