she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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