i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize