dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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