All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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