i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
