she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
