In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
