I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
