I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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