remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
