barbara walters just said penis...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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