I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
