remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
