Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
