A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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