I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We need to rekindle our bromance
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
