There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
