Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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