I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
