Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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