p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i barfeds in our rink
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
