I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
