You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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