i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You are a genius and a whore.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
