I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
