I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
