Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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