I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
