We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
