Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
