Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
