ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
