If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
