I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
