This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize