she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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