Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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