Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
