More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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