he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
