you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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