oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize