hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
