officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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