he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
