areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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