Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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