She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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