the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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