youre lurking in front of me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
