forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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