I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Girls should come with a carfax report
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
