Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
