so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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