We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
