Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
