i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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