garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
