I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
