she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
