He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
