I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize