i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
