If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
