I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
