Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
