Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
