no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
