eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
