I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize