Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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