Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
